Recent Dorkiness

Giant Boobs and Crotch-Gap: Meet the New Wonder Woman!

So I just saw the news that, following the end of Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang’s innovative run on Wonder Woman, the character’s adventures will next be chronicled by David Finch. Who draws her like this:

you could click to embiggen this. but, dear god, don't.

you could click to embiggen this. but, dear god, don’t.

So… Heavy breasts, wide hips, and big thighs. Big thighs with an anatomically unlikely gap between them. This is a drawing that says, “Hey man! I KNOW you like boobies, but looka here! There’s a VAGINA up under them star-panties!”

Jesus wept.

That’s a far cry from Chiang’s portrayal of the character as an attractively athletic warrior woman:

Chiang Wonder Woman 1

Oh, wait. They wouldn’t let her actually have pants. Here:

Chiang Wonder Woman 2

Yeah, that’s more like the character that actually saw print.

This is not to say that the Azzarello/Chiang run has been perfect. Far from it. I criticized the book on a number of points over the months that I read it, and actually wound up dropping it a few months back because I just didn’t like the scripts.

But, holy crap, I loved the approach. They drew heavily on the horrific tone of the Greek myths Wonder Woman’s always been steeped in, updating the gods with wildly imaginative takes and just generally establishing a feel for the character’s adventures that’s as unique as that of any other character in the genre. They gave us a tough, headstrong Wonder Woman with a great supporting cast and a world to live in that has the potential to be as rich and compelling as Batman’s Gotham City. It has, by far, been the most creatively successful revamp in the whole New 52 campaign, revitalizing a character who hasn’t quite worked for far too long. So I hate to see that put in the hands of the man responsible for the hyper-sexualized take seen at the top.

Now, to be fair, that’s not new Finch artwork. It’s the click-bait illustration that Bleeding Cool (and now I myself) chose to illustrate the story with. Finch drew it some time ago, I assume, considering that Wonder Woman’s wearing the pre-reboot version of her costume. Technically, we don’t know what he’s going to do once he gets on the book. But we might take a hint on that front from his work on the character in Justice League:

Finch Justice League 1

That’s right, baby. Work that Golden Lasso of Truth. Work it with an expression that says, “bored stripper” rather than “warrior born.” Or even “constipated asshole,” like the rest of the team…

Did I say Jesus wept? I don’t remember. The Wonder-Crotch wiped it from my mind. So, just in case I didn’t…

Jesus wept.

The one good thing about that illustration (the ONLY good thing) is that it inspired one of my favorite funnybook parodies in recent memory, “What if male super heroes posed like Wonder Woman?

Justice League Strike a Pose

Heh. That’s good stuff. And it really crystallizes why this was such a face-palm announcement for me. Because I can only imagine that Finch is going to give us a Wonder Woman much like the one above. The one we’ve seen outside the pages of her own series for the last couple of years. And that Wonder Woman has been mostly a bland pin-up girl, interchangeable with any of the dozens of other spandex bimbos out there in funnybook land. The most interesting thing about her, near as I can tell, is that she’s dating Superman. And that… Well…

That’s just sad.

again, you could click to embiggen this, but... why bother?

again, you could click to embiggen this, but… why bother?

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About Mark Brett (431 Articles)
Shaved Yeti. Alien. Writer of stuff. Read my fiction at http://reportsfromthefieldblog.wordpress.com/. Read my thoughts on comic books and other dork culture ephemera at https://dorkforty.wordpress.com/.

3 Comments on Giant Boobs and Crotch-Gap: Meet the New Wonder Woman!

  1. Wonder Woman is the only DC New 52 series I’ve been following for more than a year now. There were a few others I liked, but they all got canceled. Like yourself, I’ve been enjoying Azzarello & Chiang’s work. I’m probably going to drop the book once their run is over. I am NOT a fan of David Finch’s style, with its hyper-detail and insane amounts of crosshatching. It’s the polar opposite of Chiang’s work, which seems so effortless and elegant.

    Like

  2. I’d say that Jesus isn’t the only god who is going to weep. Finch is terrible, not only in the technical aspect of drawing, but also because of the reasons you mention here. This is why sites like the Hawkeye initiave have to exist.

    Like

  3. After reading The Pro, I can never unsee that wall-crumbling scene with the Superman analogue.

    Like

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  1. Better Doesn’t Mean Good: Revisiting David Finch’s Wonder Woman « Dork Forty!

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