Been having some trouble getting into the Christmas spirit this year, so I decided to sit down with that most Christmassy of Christmas traditions, The Star Wars Holiday Special!
Oh. Hmm. That’s… really dreadful, isn’t it? Ten minutes of annoying growly pantomime punctuated with elfin space acrobats. But, hey! Art Carny’s in this next part! And nothin’ sez Chrimmas like Art Carny, right?
Holy… Y’know, I didn’t think Harvey Korman could actually be that unfunny. But I think Princess Leia turns up in this next bit, so that’ll be good, right?
I think I may have just lost my will to live.
Let’s fast-forward a bit.
Ah, yes! It doesn’t get much more Christmassy than Bea Arthur: Space Bartender!
Did… Did I really just see The Threepenny Cantina? Kurt Weil must be rolling over in his space-grave.
But, hey. It’s a Holiday Special! Surely, Chewbacca will back it home in time for Life Day, and that will undoubtedly make my heart grow three sizes in the proper Christmas manner. So let’s press on…
Wow. Just… wow.
Carrie Fisher has claimed that she was so coked up during the filming of this that she doesn’t even remember making it. Which, in retrospect, might not have been a bad state to be in when attempting to watch it.
But I did like the part when all the Wookies used their glowing crystals to don their evil red Satan robes and walk through space to the mist-filled Cavern of Life Day. Because that, in the end, is what Christmas is all about.
So happy Life Day, everyone! And may the Force be with you!
Oh, wait! I almost forgot! Our fast-forwarding caused us to miss the only part of the Star Wars Holiday Special that’s actually worth watching! So here, in its entirety, is the cartoon that introduced Boba Fett to a world of toy-hungry children: