Recent Dorkiness

Countdown to Halloween, Day 25: This is My Last Song About Satan

Much as we love all the various ghouls and ghosts of the Halloween season, let’s face it: the holiday’s real king-daddy, the man with the evil plan… is Satan.

He’ll lick your soul apart!

Yes, the fundamentalists were right: beneath all the candy and mischief and innocent spooky fun, Halloween is all about the devil. Old Scratch himself. The Great Deceiver.  Corrupter of virgin flesh…

click for embiggened defilement

…leader of strange rituals…

Man, no matter how many cults I join, there’s always a naked fat guy!

…and all-around source of everything that makes Halloween interesting and fun.

Really, it’s an evil holiday. No one should celebrate it. Certainly not with 31 straight days of Halloweenie goodness. Every time I make one of these posts, I bet the Devil laughs. The Devil laughs, and an angel gets its throat cut, streaming bloody rain down upon the heads of innocent children. Then I bet the Devil laughs some more. He just seems like that kinda guy.

So tonight I thought I’d teach ol’ Satan a lesson. Laugh all you want, you red-assed bastard! Because even though I’m so helpless before my love of your evil holiday that I can’t stop myself from spreading tasty Halloween corruption across the interwebs, those clever lads in the pentecostal goth outfit Slim Cessna’s Auto Club have concocted a song about kicking the evil habit. And so we are saved.


BONUS SATAN!! All the pictures above were taken from the 1922 Danish silent film Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages. Based in part on The Malleus Maleficarum (a bedtime favorite here on the Dork Forty), Häxan is a documentary…

…slash exploitation film…

…about the history of witchcraft and the superstitions associated with it. Superstitions which, as you can see, are rather sensationally dramatized for your edification and amusement. Though banned in the US for its nudity and depictions of sexual perversion, it’s actually a rather thoughtful piece arguing that what people of past centuries thought was evidence of witchcraft and demonic possession was most likely insanity in its various forms. It’s a familiar argument now, of course, but not so much in 1922.

The film was rediscovered in the 1960s, and a shortened version was released with a jazz score and narration by none other than William S. Burroughs. And that version is available to watch in its entirety below. It’s heavy on the sensationalism, of course, but that’s not a bad thing. Those sequences are some of the weirdest, most enthusiastically-acted horror movie Satanism scenes ever, and the jazz score puts them right over the top into David Lynch territory. So enjoy.

About Mark Brett (565 Articles)
Shaved Yeti. Alien. Writer of stuff. Read my fiction at Read my thoughts on comic books and other dork culture ephemera at

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