KIRBY, GODDAMMIT!!!!

This is your brain... This is your brain on KIRBY!

Ahem. Pardon my French. But I needed something to herald my return to the nerd farm, and well... What better than The King himself? It was just gonna be "Kirby Dammit!" but... Considering who we're talking about here, that just didn't seem to have the proper... COSMIC OOMPH. I mean... just look at this! This is Kirby's portrait of God. That's God Almighty, Omnipotent Ruler of the Universe, and don't you fucking forget it! I mean, holy (literally HOLY!) shit! If ever a deity needed profanity to get across how mind-blowingly, ass-kickingly... AWESOME he is... it's this one. So... KIRBY, GODDAMMIT!!!! That's JACK Kirby, in case you don't know, the mightiest funnybook artist ever to walk the face of That Dude Up Above's green Earth. If you're even reading this, I would assume that you know who he is. If you don't... Well... I'm very disappointed in you. But, still. Hang on to your hat, Dork Virgin! Like that fortunate young man in the picture at the top, you are about to have your mind blown.

Now. In the interest of equal time, I suppose I should share with you Kirby’s vision of the Man Downstairs, as well…

Not QUITE as awe-inspiring, I don’t think, but man oh man. The power, the majesty, the sheer raw ODDITY on display here makes up for a lot. Note also this idea of control equalling peace. That becomes a recurring theme for Kirby over time. For a man who put his life on the line to stop fascism in World War II, and who worked in an industry where he had very little control over his own creations, this perverse inversion of the American ideal would become the ultimate evil. An evil personified in our next subject…

FACE!

That’s Darkseid, God of Evil and Lord of the planet Apokolips, who sits high on the short list of Greatest Funnybook Villains Ever. Here he’s having an evil laugh at the expense of his own son. It’s a great shot, one of those uncomfortable close-ups Kirby was all-too-willing to indulge in from time to time (I like Darkseid’s uneven, slab-like teeth in particular). But this next picture, which captures the Big Guy in a more serious moment, does a better job of getting aross exactly WHY he’s such a great villain:

Just let me repeat that for you: “I AM THE REVELATION! The TIGER-FORCE at the core of all things!” That… is sheer demented poetry, and one of the more evocative descriptions of evil you’re likely to see. This idea of Darkseid (and, by extension, evil itself) as this predatory beast stalking all reality… Terrifying stuff. It lends an implacable, tireless aspect to evil that’s at the core of Kirby’s general outlook on life as endless, constant struggle. Kirby heroes are fighting heroes, always exerting force to protect society against the bastards.

It’s not all bad in Kirby’s world, though. In addition to predatory evil, there’s also transcendent good…

…and beauty…

…even if that beauty is often threatened…

…and sometimes comes in very strange packages.

Hmm. I don't think there's an entry for "phone-dangling fish-lady" in my dream dictionary...

And, of course, there’s always room for a dude with a T-Rex on his head:

Aaaaannnddd… I think that’s all I’ve got time for tonight. I’ll be back soon, though (no, really!), with another round of awesome images from the King of Comics. Next time out: ACTION! IMPACT! ENERGY! And an endless supply of KIRBY KRACKLE!